Friday, December 11, 2009
Final Thoughts
I dropped this class a couple of semesters ago, because not only did reading the Bible seem like a grueling task, my teacher did not seem very enthusiastic about teaching it. Taking this class from Dr. Sexson seemed like a much better idea for me. This class has opened me up to understanding the Bible, and learning the different stories from a literary point of view, a point of view that makes me appreciate it as a piece of art, which was something my naive self did not understand before this class. I have learned to look out for ways in which the Bible is represented in Pop culture, for if I was not familiar with the different stories, I would not be part of the unwashed masses who was able to pick up then them. I must admit, I did not finish reading the Bible, as most people can probably admit though too. But I did read the Good Book, which gave me the general idea of everything that I ended up missing. All in all, I must say im glad I dropped this class a year ago, for this semester was a much more enjoyable learning experience. Also, thanks to Rio for all of the visual excitement you brought to class every day.
Crazy Event, had to share
So I just woke up to a very crazy event, a poor lady being help captive by her lover.
Her name is Betty Joe, from Los Angeles California. Earlier this year, she went to a church retreat where she met a man who was really attractive. This man took an immediate liking to Betty Joe, told her he loved her, and that she should move to Montana, the most beautiful state in the world. So last Sunday, Betty Joe packed up her house, even though her daughter told her not to, and took a Greyhound to the Big Sky State. According to the story she gave the cops, Betty Joe arrived to a loving man who took really good care of her at first. However, when she tried to call her children and friends a couple of days ago to let them know she was safe, she was supprised to see that every number she dialed was a wrong number. This was when her suspicions arose. She confronted the man and asked why her phone didnt work, and he told her that now she was with him, nothing else mattered, so he changed all the numbers in her phone, to lose complete communication, and start a new life completely rid of its past. Betty Joe began to get upset, so the man duct taped her to a chair, then proceeded to duct tape the doors and block off windows so she could not get out. He did not have a house line so she was unable to call the cops.
Apparently this behavior went on for a few days, making Betty Joe more and more nervous of this situation. She told the cops that yesterday was the tipping point and she knew that she had to escape. She overheard the man, who loved her so much he didnt want to share her with anyone, talking to his friend on the phone about purchasing a bunch of guns for his house. After she heard that, she knew she would have to escape. This morning, when the man left the house, she pryed open the back door that was blocked by an old fridge, and ran down the block knocking on every door she could.
This is where our house gets involved. I saw the lady standing on the street corner, looking like she was waiting for someone, so I didnt think anything of it. After I got into my house, I heard a knock on the door. Over and over. It was the lady. We answered it, and she was shaking, looked like she was running from something that had just hurt her. We didnt let her in the house, but my sister called the cops and I made her some tea to warm up. When the cops got here, she told them that whole disturbing story.
I seriously feel like this captive thing is an ongoing theme. From reading lolita, to watching criminal minds, to poor Betty Joe. Regardless, this was not a boring start to the day, and I felt it necessary to share.
Her name is Betty Joe, from Los Angeles California. Earlier this year, she went to a church retreat where she met a man who was really attractive. This man took an immediate liking to Betty Joe, told her he loved her, and that she should move to Montana, the most beautiful state in the world. So last Sunday, Betty Joe packed up her house, even though her daughter told her not to, and took a Greyhound to the Big Sky State. According to the story she gave the cops, Betty Joe arrived to a loving man who took really good care of her at first. However, when she tried to call her children and friends a couple of days ago to let them know she was safe, she was supprised to see that every number she dialed was a wrong number. This was when her suspicions arose. She confronted the man and asked why her phone didnt work, and he told her that now she was with him, nothing else mattered, so he changed all the numbers in her phone, to lose complete communication, and start a new life completely rid of its past. Betty Joe began to get upset, so the man duct taped her to a chair, then proceeded to duct tape the doors and block off windows so she could not get out. He did not have a house line so she was unable to call the cops.
Apparently this behavior went on for a few days, making Betty Joe more and more nervous of this situation. She told the cops that yesterday was the tipping point and she knew that she had to escape. She overheard the man, who loved her so much he didnt want to share her with anyone, talking to his friend on the phone about purchasing a bunch of guns for his house. After she heard that, she knew she would have to escape. This morning, when the man left the house, she pryed open the back door that was blocked by an old fridge, and ran down the block knocking on every door she could.
This is where our house gets involved. I saw the lady standing on the street corner, looking like she was waiting for someone, so I didnt think anything of it. After I got into my house, I heard a knock on the door. Over and over. It was the lady. We answered it, and she was shaking, looked like she was running from something that had just hurt her. We didnt let her in the house, but my sister called the cops and I made her some tea to warm up. When the cops got here, she told them that whole disturbing story.
I seriously feel like this captive thing is an ongoing theme. From reading lolita, to watching criminal minds, to poor Betty Joe. Regardless, this was not a boring start to the day, and I felt it necessary to share.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
discovery!
Ever since I was a little girl, I have gone to Wyoming to spend summers on my families ranch in Lander, Wyoming.
The ranch was bought when I was 5 years old. My family had planned a vacation to Toberua Island, in Fiji, and since my father was sick with multiple sclerosis, he could not make the family trip with us. My brother, sister and I were so upset by this, because my father had always been with us on our trips to Fiji, and the thought of going there without him was really hard on us. My dad told my mom that she should still take the three kids to Fiji, and for her to bring a friend to help out with everything and watching us. My father wanted us out of the house while tests for his MS were taking place, so we would not get too worried. We were gone for two weeks.
My father must have known that his sickness was serious, for while we were away, he began his search for different ranches in the greater rocky mountain area. He looked all over Montana, Colorado, Idaho and Wyoming, then finally stumbled on a listing for a ranch in Lander, Wyoming. The couple that owned it had it for their entire lives, but were too old to maintain it. He purchased the ranch after only seeing pictures that were sent to him in the mail. For my father, this ranch would be a way for his children to enjoy their last years with him. When the doctors told him his condition would most likely be fatal, Dad decided to work less and spend more time creating memories, for his biggest fear was that his children would not remember him.
When we got off the plane from Fiji, my dad couldnt make it to the airport to pick us up, so he sent a white limo. When we all jumped into the back of the car, the entire inside was covered with large, panoramic pictures of land. Lots of land. Hills, trees, rivers and open skies. My mom, as well as us kids, had no idea what was going on. All of a sudden, the front window where the driver seat was rolled down, and low and behold, my father was in the front seat looking back at us! He asked my mom if she liked the pictures, when she said yes, my father said, "good, cause its yours. Its all of ours!" At first my siblings and I had no idea what it was, until my dad told us it was a ranch where we could ride horses, explore, and walk for miles without stepping onto our neighbors land! For me, this was the most amazing news I had ever heard!
That summer, the entire family drove our suburban to the ranch instead of flying. It was our first roadtrip, and driving through Wyoming was not like Southern California... we would drive for hours without seeing another car, only the occasional antelope. (i called them cantelopes at the time) When we got to the ranch, there was only one cabin, but the rest of the summer was spent building our other cabins and making it a perfect little escape for everyone.
Because we did not have television, my brother, sister and I were forced to use our imaginations and rely on ourselves for entertainment. My sister would play dolls, and my brother and I would go out and search for treasures in the riverbed. Surrounding our "homestead" area were a few old dump piles (which were cleaned up later on that summer..) an old stagecoach wreck, and an indian camp. We would spend hours in the Indian camp looking for artifacts, which is where I found my first arrowhead, and my brother found a really old pipe. After finding these, we became obsessed with finding other treasures. We would even go out by ourselves, wearing irrigation boots so we could get really deep into the river, and see who could find the best treasure! I was determined.
One day, I decided to walk downstream a ways and look for bottles in along the riverbed in the mud. We had found all sorts of purple glass bottles, and old whiskey jars, so I thought that if I went further than we had ever gone before, I would find the best bottles of them all. I walked around a bend and saw what looked like an old sheepwagon. It was not standing, but there were shards of cloth, an old stove and chimney, and what was left of some wooden wheels. Jackpot! I started lifting peices of wood and metal to see what was underneath them. All of a sudden, I realized there was paper everywhere! I found sheet after sheet, only to realize they were books that had fallen apart and were ruined from the elements. I kept digging when I found one that seemed intact. It had a leather cover but I could not read the letters on the front from all the water damage. I was sooo excited! I could not read at the time so I ran home as fast as I could to show my dad what I had found.
He opened it up and started reading a line from it. He told me that I had found a really old Bible, which was amazing because most of the pages were intact! I was so excited! The best treasure found on the ranch, the old Bible! We wrapped it up in a plastic bag to protect it because my dad said that it was really special, and I would want to have it someday.
This summer, 2009 I was going through an old closet and stumbled across a plastic bag. I had not seen my Bible for years, so when I opened it up, I was so excited that I still had it! I took it out of the bag and openened the Bible up. There was a peice of yellow paper folded up in the center of it. The paper read, "I hid the Bible in this closet knowing that it would not be discovered for a while. This discovery really is an amazing treasure, one that will give you stories to tell for years. Life really is about memories and the people we share them with. Never stop searching for the greatest treasures in life. Love, Dad." Im not sure if my mom knew that note was in there. My father passed away when I was 10 years old, so to find that note 14 years after he passed away brought a lot of nostalgia. That Bible, other than my Harper Collins, is the only Bible I have ever had, even though I have never read it, it is one of the most important discoveries I have ever made.
Hill where we scattered his ashes, overlooking his favorite place in the world.
The ranch was bought when I was 5 years old. My family had planned a vacation to Toberua Island, in Fiji, and since my father was sick with multiple sclerosis, he could not make the family trip with us. My brother, sister and I were so upset by this, because my father had always been with us on our trips to Fiji, and the thought of going there without him was really hard on us. My dad told my mom that she should still take the three kids to Fiji, and for her to bring a friend to help out with everything and watching us. My father wanted us out of the house while tests for his MS were taking place, so we would not get too worried. We were gone for two weeks.
My father must have known that his sickness was serious, for while we were away, he began his search for different ranches in the greater rocky mountain area. He looked all over Montana, Colorado, Idaho and Wyoming, then finally stumbled on a listing for a ranch in Lander, Wyoming. The couple that owned it had it for their entire lives, but were too old to maintain it. He purchased the ranch after only seeing pictures that were sent to him in the mail. For my father, this ranch would be a way for his children to enjoy their last years with him. When the doctors told him his condition would most likely be fatal, Dad decided to work less and spend more time creating memories, for his biggest fear was that his children would not remember him.
When we got off the plane from Fiji, my dad couldnt make it to the airport to pick us up, so he sent a white limo. When we all jumped into the back of the car, the entire inside was covered with large, panoramic pictures of land. Lots of land. Hills, trees, rivers and open skies. My mom, as well as us kids, had no idea what was going on. All of a sudden, the front window where the driver seat was rolled down, and low and behold, my father was in the front seat looking back at us! He asked my mom if she liked the pictures, when she said yes, my father said, "good, cause its yours. Its all of ours!" At first my siblings and I had no idea what it was, until my dad told us it was a ranch where we could ride horses, explore, and walk for miles without stepping onto our neighbors land! For me, this was the most amazing news I had ever heard!
That summer, the entire family drove our suburban to the ranch instead of flying. It was our first roadtrip, and driving through Wyoming was not like Southern California... we would drive for hours without seeing another car, only the occasional antelope. (i called them cantelopes at the time) When we got to the ranch, there was only one cabin, but the rest of the summer was spent building our other cabins and making it a perfect little escape for everyone.
Because we did not have television, my brother, sister and I were forced to use our imaginations and rely on ourselves for entertainment. My sister would play dolls, and my brother and I would go out and search for treasures in the riverbed. Surrounding our "homestead" area were a few old dump piles (which were cleaned up later on that summer..) an old stagecoach wreck, and an indian camp. We would spend hours in the Indian camp looking for artifacts, which is where I found my first arrowhead, and my brother found a really old pipe. After finding these, we became obsessed with finding other treasures. We would even go out by ourselves, wearing irrigation boots so we could get really deep into the river, and see who could find the best treasure! I was determined.
One day, I decided to walk downstream a ways and look for bottles in along the riverbed in the mud. We had found all sorts of purple glass bottles, and old whiskey jars, so I thought that if I went further than we had ever gone before, I would find the best bottles of them all. I walked around a bend and saw what looked like an old sheepwagon. It was not standing, but there were shards of cloth, an old stove and chimney, and what was left of some wooden wheels. Jackpot! I started lifting peices of wood and metal to see what was underneath them. All of a sudden, I realized there was paper everywhere! I found sheet after sheet, only to realize they were books that had fallen apart and were ruined from the elements. I kept digging when I found one that seemed intact. It had a leather cover but I could not read the letters on the front from all the water damage. I was sooo excited! I could not read at the time so I ran home as fast as I could to show my dad what I had found.
He opened it up and started reading a line from it. He told me that I had found a really old Bible, which was amazing because most of the pages were intact! I was so excited! The best treasure found on the ranch, the old Bible! We wrapped it up in a plastic bag to protect it because my dad said that it was really special, and I would want to have it someday.
This summer, 2009 I was going through an old closet and stumbled across a plastic bag. I had not seen my Bible for years, so when I opened it up, I was so excited that I still had it! I took it out of the bag and openened the Bible up. There was a peice of yellow paper folded up in the center of it. The paper read, "I hid the Bible in this closet knowing that it would not be discovered for a while. This discovery really is an amazing treasure, one that will give you stories to tell for years. Life really is about memories and the people we share them with. Never stop searching for the greatest treasures in life. Love, Dad." Im not sure if my mom knew that note was in there. My father passed away when I was 10 years old, so to find that note 14 years after he passed away brought a lot of nostalgia. That Bible, other than my Harper Collins, is the only Bible I have ever had, even though I have never read it, it is one of the most important discoveries I have ever made.
Hill where we scattered his ashes, overlooking his favorite place in the world.
Really?
-I just read a fact saying that the Bible can be read aloud in 70 hours...
(I should have gotten the book on tape)
-Also, the word Lord appears over 400 times more than God in the Bible.
(I should have gotten the book on tape)
-Also, the word Lord appears over 400 times more than God in the Bible.
-The numbers are 3 and 9
There are 39 books in the Old Testament.
multiply 3 X 9 and the answer is 27
There are 27 Books in the New Testament.
If you add 39 and 27 and the answer is 66
There are 66 books in the entire Bible.
Paradise Lost
In my Brit Lit 1 class, (which I've been putting off for the last 6 years) we covered many different plays, poems, stories etc. that were closely tied to religion and beliefs from earlier time periods. While all the stories had references to different religions, and some even to the Bible, the story read that had closest Biblical ties, for obvious reasons, was Paradise Lost by Milton. Because I developed a stronger knowledge of the Bible over this semester, I was glad that we read Milton's story last in Brit Lit for I was able to understand it better, and the different Bible references that were found. Some of these Biblical references I discovered in Milton's story include:
-Christs Exaltation in Heaven which is found in Hebrews and Psalms.
-Gods creation of the World, found in Genesis (however, in Genesis satan does not try to destroy the world immediately.
-Satan's Rebellion and War in Heaven, found in Isaiah and Revelation
-Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, found in Genesis, when Eve is tempted by the disguised Satan to eat the fruit from the tree.
-Noahs Arc, which last but not least, is also found in Genesis.
Not only does Milton's Paradise lost follow the Bible very closely in its events, it sometimes quotes the Bible word for word, which I would not have been able to pick up on before this semester. Like one of my blogs from earlier this semester, does everyone steal from everything else? Yes- Milton did steal some of his stories from the Bible... but he made an interesting twist making Satan a type of hero / anti-hero.
-Christs Exaltation in Heaven which is found in Hebrews and Psalms.
-Gods creation of the World, found in Genesis (however, in Genesis satan does not try to destroy the world immediately.
-Satan's Rebellion and War in Heaven, found in Isaiah and Revelation
-Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, found in Genesis, when Eve is tempted by the disguised Satan to eat the fruit from the tree.
-Noahs Arc, which last but not least, is also found in Genesis.
Not only does Milton's Paradise lost follow the Bible very closely in its events, it sometimes quotes the Bible word for word, which I would not have been able to pick up on before this semester. Like one of my blogs from earlier this semester, does everyone steal from everything else? Yes- Milton did steal some of his stories from the Bible... but he made an interesting twist making Satan a type of hero / anti-hero.
Plotz
I have not blogged on Plotz yet, and I'm not sure why, because I really enjoyed reading The Good Book. He made the Bible more approachable for people with short attention spans, or those that were interested in the Bible, just not very interested in actually reading it. For example: his appendix at the end of the book is what I started out reading, before diving into the book. At first glance, I just thought, oh, this is some guys own experience that he had with the Bible, and is going to give some facts, details, and information... however, after reading the appendix, I was pleasantly supprised. The appendix includes:
-The Bible's twelve best pickup lines
-The nine best parties
-My favorite prostitutes
-Eleven heroes you don't want to be named after
-Nine truly hellacious divine punishments
-The eight trippiest and most important dreams
-Nine weird laws
-The six most important business deals
-Six abuses of animal rights
-The ten most important meals
"Well, this looks promising," I thought to myself. This guy seems like he find the relatable information in the Bible, and puts it into real world situations that we can actually understand! Booze, Feminism, Sex, Trippy dreams, Animal Rights, Laws, Prostitutes, Wars, Hellacious punishements... what more could a girl ask for? These were issues that I knew existed in the Bible, I was just never able to look at them as entertainment like David Plotz enabled me to. By bringing pop culture into studying the Bible, Plotz has made it relateable.
Examples:
Chicken Soup for the Hebew Soul
God's Whole Grain Hippie Prophet
Hot and Holy
The First Miss Universe Pageant
The Source of all Jewish Comedy
Why so many Bible Hookers?
The meathead and the left-handed assassin
Kings of Pain
Anyways. Just wanted to say I appreciate that this was put onto our reading list for the semester because not only was it VERY informative, It made me start to enjoy and appreciate the Bible more than I have in the past.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
My Paper Topic
The Laws to Live By
After a person, like myself, dives deeper into the Bible than they have ever gone before, the question, “what did you learn about the Bible that you did not know before?” becomes a lot harder to answer than simply, “what are you familiar with in the Bible?”. My answer to the latter question would have simply been, “not much.” Aspects that have always been of strong interest to me are the different rules and laws one must live by that are found in the Bible. Because the Bible was written so long ago, many of these “laws” could not possibly apply today, (unless they were being followed by a strong fundamentalist) however, the different laws continue to cause a lot of questions and arguments regarding issues that take place in current time. Due to the fact that the only “law” I have ever known from the Bible is “respect thy neighbor,” I am writing my paper on some of the many laws found in the Bible, good or bad, funny or serious, literal or figurative, for they are a small piece of the Bible that until this fall, I knew absolutely nothing about.
the bible interesting facts
- The New Testament was faithfully transcribed into Hebrew, Syriac, Egyptian, Coptic, Latin and other languages by 60-70 AD.
- The first translation of the English Bible was initiated by John Wycliffe and completed by John Purvey in A.D. 1388.
- The first American edition of the Bible was perhaps published some time before A.D. 1752.
- The Bible has been translated in part or in whole as of 1964 in over 1,200 different languages or dialects.
- The system of chapters in the Bible was introduced in A.D. 1238 by Cardinal Hugo de S. Caro, while the verse notations were added in 1551 by Robertus Stephanus, after the advent of printing.
- The Bible was divided into chapters by Stephen Langton about A.D. 1228.
- The Old Testament was divided into verses by R. Nathan in A.D. 1448 and the New Testament by Robert Stephanus in A.D. 1551.
- According to statistics from Wycliffe International, the Society of Gideons, and the International Bible Society, the number of new Bibles that are sold, given away, or otherwise distributed in the United States is about 168,000 per day.
- There are 8,674 different Hebrew words in the Bible, 5,624 different Greek words, and 12,143 different English words in the King James Version.
- A number of verses in the Bible (KJV) contain all but 1 letter of the alphabet: Ezra 7:21 contains all but the letter j; Joshua 7:24, 1 Kings 1:9, 1 Chronicles 12:40, 2 Chronicles 36:10, Ezekiel 28:13, Daniel 4:37, and Haggai 1:1 contain all but q; 2 Kings 16:15 and 1 Chronicles 4:10 contain all but z; and Galatians 1:14 contains all but k.
- The word "God" occurs 4,379 times.
- The word "Lord" occurs 7,738 times.
- The longest intercontinental telegram ever sent was the text of the New International Version of the Bible, sent from Geneva, where it was translated, to New York for printing.
- The Bible can be read aloud in 70 hours.
- Oldest verse was found on a small silver leaf from a necklace with Numbers 6:24-26 inscribed dated 7th century before Christ
- There was never any histoical record of Jewish debates concerning of the authorship of the Torah.
- A Bible in the University of Gottingen is written on 2,470 palm leaves.
- Man who lived to be 969 years old Gen. 5:27
- Sons of God married the daughters of men Gen. 6:2
- Man used a stone for a pillow Gen 28:11
- Baby had a scarlet thread tied around its hand before it was born Gen. 38:28,29
- Battle won because a man stretched out his hand Exodus 17:11
- Man was spoken to by a donkey Num. 22:28-30
- One who had a bed 13½ feet long and 6 feet wide Deut. 3:11
- The women who had to shave their heads before they could marry Deut 21:11-13
- Sun stood still for a whole day Josh. 10:13
- An army with 700 left handed men Judges 20:16
- Man whose hair weighed about 6 pounds when it was cut annually 2 Sam. 14:26
- Man who had 12 fingers and 12 toes 2 Sam. 21:20
- Father who had eighty-eight children 2 Chr. 11:21
- The sun travelled backward Isaiah 38:8
- A harlot was an ancestor of Christ Matt. 1:5
- Earlist: Adam, world's first human being Gen. 2:7
- Oldest: Methuselah, son of Enoch, who lived to be 969 Gen. 5:27
- Strongest: Samson, carnal Nazarite whom God used to deliver Israel from the Philistines Judg. 14:6, 15:5
- Wisest: Solomon, king of Israel and son of David 1 Kings 3:12
- Richest: Solomon 1 Kings 10:23
- Tallest: Goliath, over nine feet tall, killed in battle by David 1 Sam. 17:4
- Shortest: Zacchaeus, who climbed a sycamore tree to see Jesus Luke 19:3-4
- Fattest: Eglon, Moabite king killed by the judge Ehud Judg.3:17
- Meekest: Moses, Israel's great lawgiver and author of the first five books of the bible Num. 12:3
- Cruelest: Manasseh, who shed blood from one end of Judah to the other but later repented 2 Chron. 33:1-13
- Fastest: Asahel, described in Scripture as "light of foot as a wild roe" 2 Sam. 2:18
- Greatest of the Prophets: John the Baptist, forerunner of Christ Matt. 11:11
- Guiltiest: Judas, who betrayed the Savior for 30 pieces of silver Matt. 27:3-5
- Proudest: Nebuchadnezzar, Babylonian king who destroyed Jerusalem and was later humbled by God himself Dan. 4
- Most Beautiful: Esther, Jewish queen who saved her people from the first holocaust attempt in history Esther 2:7
- Most Traveled: Paul, the great theologian and missionary Acts 13:4, 15:36, 18:23
- Most Sorrowful: Jeremiah, persecuted by his own countrymen for preaching on sin and who saw his beloved Jerusalem destroyed Jer. 9:1, Lam. 1:12
- Most Persecuted: Job, attacked by Satan, totally misunderstood by wife, and criticized by his friends Job 1-2
- Most Lovestruck: Jacob, who agreed to work seven years for the hand of Rachel Gen. 29:18-20
- Most Frightened: Belshazzar, whose knees knocked ad the handwriting in the wall appeared Dan. 5:6
- Most Rash: Jephthah, who vowed to offer a special sacrifice if God would allow him to win a battle; the sacrifice turned out to be his daughter Judg. 11:30
- Most Doubtful: Thomas, who said he could not believe in Christ's resurrection until he saw and touched the Savior John 11:16, 20:24-29
Group 5 Movie Script
THE FINAL CUT
The Crew:
Lisette Langdorf
Jenna Theisen
Erin Mortenson
Ben Miller
Kellen Zayto
Karen Wilson
Acts 1
Scene 1
-Luke (narrator): In the first Book, Theophilus, I wrote about all that Jesus did and taught from the beginning until the day when he was taken up to Heaven, after giving instructions through the Holy Spirit to the apostles whom he had chosen. After his suffer he presented himself alive to them by many convincing proofs, appearing to them during forty days and speaking about the kingdom of God. While staying with them, he ordered them not to leave Jerusalem, but to wait there for the promise of the father.”
Scene 2
-Jesus: This is what you have heard from me; for John baptized with water, but you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit not may days from now.
-Apostles: Lord, is this the time when you will restore the kingdom of Israel?
-Jesus: It is not for you to know the times or periods that the father has set by his own authority. But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.
(Jesus is lifted by a cloud, out of their sight)
Scene 3 - the apostles walking from Mount Olivet to the city and their room where they were staying. Apostles praying.
Scene 4 – Peter addressed a crowd –
-Peter: Friends, the scripture had to be fulfilled, which the Holy Spirit revealed concerning Judas: he was a narc for those who arrested Jesus – for Judas was a member of our ministry with inside knowledge.
For it’s written in the book of Psalms, ‘Let his homestead become desolate, and let there be no one to live in it, let another take his position of overseer.’
(Shot of Judas acquiring land for being a tattle-tale, then he falls headlong into his field and dies)
-Peter continues: We must choose another to become a witness of Jesus’ resurrection.
Acts 2
Scene 1 (Video of a crowd with the sound of the rush of violent wind, then fire tongues – some sort of force – touches people in the crowd who then start babbling in their native languages)
-One crowd member: Whose this speaking Galieans? How is it that we hear, each of us, in our own native tongues? In our own tongues we hear them speaking about the God’s deeds of power. What’s up with this?
-Another crowd member: They are filled with new wine….
-Peter, standing with the apostles, says: People of MSU and all who live in Bozeman, Listen. These folk are not drunk, for it’s only 9 in the morning. For the prophet Joel told us that God will pour out his spirit upon all flesh, causing chaos, visions, and dreams; the sun will turn dark and the moon to blood. Those who call on the lord will be saved.
(Some sort of chaotic shot here)
-Peter continues: God brought Jesus of Nazareth w/ deeds of power, wonders, and signs God did through him. And you Israelites, you crucified this man, this Jesus, and killed him by the hand of those outside the law. But God raised him up, because it was impossible for him to be held in death’s power.
We are all witnesses of this Jesus God raised up, this Jesus whom you Israelites crucified, and whom God made both Lord and Messiah.
-Crowd: But brothers what should we do?
-Peter: Repent and be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ so your sins may be forgiven and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. Save yourselves from this corrupt generation!!
(The people are baptized, awe overcomes everyone as wonders and signs are done by the apostles)
Act 3
Paul and Peter Walk into the Temple.
-A poor crippled beggar approaches and asks for money.
-Peter says, “I have no silver or gold, but what I have I will give to you; in the name of Jesus you stand up and walk”
-The beggar stands up and does a little dance.
-Paul and Peter invite this happy beggar into the temple with them.
-People notice the beggar skipping into the temple side-by-side with Peter and Paul.
Acts 5
Scene 1 –Ananias and Sapphira
-Ananias: Honey, I’m going to sell some property, but try to keep a small portion of the proceeds, so that we may buy a bit of extra bread.
-Sapphira: Yes dear, you do what you must.
(Ananias takes his proceeds to the apostles)
-Peter: Ananias, why has Satan filled your heart to lie to the Holy Spirit and to keep back some of the profits? How is it that you have contrived this deed in your heart? You did not lie to us but to GOD!!
(Ananias falls down dead; His wife arrives three hours later)
-Peter: Tell me whether you and your husband sold the land for such and such a price.
-Sapphira: Yes, that was the price, such and such.
-Peter: How is it that you have agreed together to put the Spirit of the Lord tot the test? Look, the feet of those who have buried your husband are at the door and they will carry you out too!!
(Immediately Sapphira falls down dead; the men drag her body out)
Scene 2 The Apostles Arrested
(Video of the apostles being led to jail and locked up; In the night and Angel comes and releases them)
-Angel: Go, stand in the temple and continue your teaching.
(Shot of High Priest in courtroom, trial room, office, somewhere)
-H.P.: Bring the apostles before me!
(The Temple Police men returns empty handed)
-Policeman: We found the prison securely locked and the guards standing at the doors, but when we opened them, we found no one inside.
-Jester (someone, nobleman): Look, the men whom you put in prison are in the temple teaching the people!
(The apostles are brought before the High Priest)
-High Priest: We gave you strict orders not to teach in this name, yet you continue to bring this man’s blood on us!
-Peter & the Apostles: We obey God, not humans. We are witnesses to these things, God’s resurrection of Jesus whom you had killed by hanging on a tree, and the Holy Spirit, whom God has given to those who obey him, is a witness too.
(This enrages the High Priest who attempts to kill the apostles but Gamaliel stops him)
-Gamaliel: Fellow Israelites, consider carefully what you propose to do to these men. I tell you, keep away from these men and let them alone; because if this plan or undertaking is of human origin it will fail; but if it is of God, you will not be able to overthrow them, but may be found fighting against God!
(This convinces the High Priest not to kill the apostles, but he still flogs them and they’re sent away)
-Apostles: Think, fellowmen, we are considered worthy to suffer dishonor for the sake of the name Jesus Christ!
(The apostles rejoice and pray)
Acts 7-8
Intro [narrator?]: Stephen gives a speech to some Jews in which he tells the story of Exodus. Stephen condemns the Jews, which angers them.
Scene 1
Stephen: [to Jews] You stiff-necked people! You have failed to live righteously!
[Jews run at Stephen, take him down]
Stephen: Look! I see Jesus! [points towards the sky]
[Jews drag him away, stone him. Saul appears at the stoning, Jews lay their coats at his feet (or some other submissive behavior)]
Stephen: Lord Jesus, receive my spirit! [He dies.]
Saul: Well done, Jews! This man deserved to die.
Scene 2
[at a house of Christians]
Christian 1: Poor Stephen! Such a holy man he was!
Christian 2: How sorrowful! He died a martyr!
Christian 1: No, a saint!
[enter Saul]
Saul: You there! How dare you follow this new religion! Idolaters!
[He grabs them and drags them to prison]
Interlude
Narrator: Philip goes to Samaria to proclaim the coming of the Messiah. The people of Samaria had previously thought a magician named Simon was a holy man, but Philip proves him wrong by performing miraculous deeds and converts everybody, including Simon, to Christianity. Peter and John join him in Samaria to help baptize the new converts.
Scene 3 [involving a convert, Peter, John, and Simon]
[Peter splashes water over convert’s head and lays his hands on it while Simon watches intently]
Simon: I want to do that! [He pulls out a wad of cash] I’ll pay you all of this money if you give me the power to deliver the Holy Spirit through my hands, as you have done.
Peter: Fie on you! You and your money can go die! God’s gift cannot be bought! Repent! Repent! Pray for forgiveness, you wicked, wicked man!
Simon: Oh, woe is me! Please, pray for me so God will not hate me!
Peter: [to John] Our work here is done. Let us return to Jerusalem.
Acts 9
Scene 1
[Saul enters a synagogue to talk to the high priest]
Saul: Good father, can you help my cause? I ask of you letters to bear to the synagogues at Damascus, so I can capture any who have converted to this new devil religion and bring them back to Jerusalem for persecution.
High Priest: This is a good idea. I will help you in your efforts to preserve our most holy faith.
Saul: Thank you, good man! May the God of Abraham and Isaac bless you.
Scene 2
[Saul walks down a deserted path towards Damascus with two companions; suddenly, a light from heaven flashes down on him]
[Saul falls over dramatically]
Jesus: Saul…Saul! Why do you persecute me?
Saul: Who are you, Lord? I say Lord, yet I am confused.
Jesus: I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting. But now you see I exist in all my glory, so go enter the city, and you will receive further directions. Your mission now is to praise me, and praise me you will.
Saul: I’m blind! The glory of Jesus has blinded me! I’M BLIND!!!
[Saul’s companions look on, confused]
Companion 1: Did you see anything?
Companion 2: Not I. He must be one of God’s chosen people!
Companion 1: It’s a miracle!
Saul: Help me! I’m blind!
[Saul’s companions lead him away. Soundtrack: Party to Damascus by Missy Elliott. Musical interlude – play music as Saul is shown being laid on a bed, looking pale and confused – fade to Ananias laying in bed, sleeping]
Scene 3
[Ananias is sleeping]
Jesus: Ananias.
[Ananias looks startled, wakes up]
Ananias: Here I am, Lord.
Jesus: Get out of bed! God to Judas’ house—it’s on Straight street. Do you know where that is?
[Ananias nods, still half asleep]
Jesus: Good. At Judas’ house, you will find a man named Saul. He is currently in shock because I temporarily blinded him while proving my majesty. He will be expecting you to give him his sight back; I showed you to him in a vision.
Ananias: But Lord, I can’t go to him! I have heard how evil he is, and he has permission from the High Priest to persecute people like me!
Jesus: Don’t make me look bad. Do you think yourself to be better than me? Do as I say! I need you to help prove my majesty to Saul. He is my instrument now. I will show him what real suffering is, and all people will bow down before me when they witness Saul’s plight!
Scene 4
[Ananias is standing over Saul in bed. He lays his hands on Saul.]
Ananias: Brother Saul, it is with the power of the Lord Jesus that I give you your sight back.
[Scale-like things fall from Saul’s eyes]
Ananias: Now be baptized.
[He splashes water on Saul’s head]
Saul: [Blinking, looking amazed] Praise Jesus! I feel better already.
Narraror: And Saul went on to proclaim the word of the Lord to all who would listen.
ACT 10
-Cornelius has an angel come to him one night.
-Angel says, “your prayers and your alms have ascended as a memorial before god. Now send men to Joppa for a certain Simon who is called Peter.”
-Cornelius does as the angel demands.
-Peter saw the Gentiles at the door and invited them in.
-The Gentiles told Peter that Cornelius was overcome by a holy spirit and asked to speak with him right away.
-Peter did not waste any time. He packed his clothes and left the very next day.
Acts 21-22 [prologue to 23]
Paul returns to Jerusalem from a crusade. He speaks with the elders there, who warn him that the Jews of Jerusalem hate him with a passion. They suggests he perform some rituals important to the Jews to improve his image. He performs the purification ritual, but the Jews try to kill him anyway. Soldiers come to Paul’s rescue, and Paul takes this opportunity to give a speech to the Jews. He announces he has been a Jew since he was born and tells the story of his encounter with Jesus. This does not impress the Jews, who get more angry with Paul. The soldiers try to beat Paul, but he uses his Roman citizenship to get out of it. The next day, Paul is sent to speak with the chief priests and town council.
Acts 23
Scene 1
[Paul stands before the council, looking at them intently. Soldiers stand next to him.]
Paul: Brothers, up to this day I have lived my life with a clear conscience before God.
High Priest Ananias: [to soldiers] Strike him on the mouth!
Paul: God will strike you, you whitewashed wall! You call me a criminal, but you’re breaking the law!
Soldiers: Do you dare to insult God’s high priest?
Paul: Oh, I didn’t know he was the high priest! Had I known I would not have spoken, for I know the law that says “You shall not speak evil of a leader of your people.”
[Paul’s thought bubble: Aha! Some of these men are Pharisees and some are Sadducees. I will use their conflicting beliefs to my advantage.]
Paul: Brothers, I am a Pharisee. I am on trial concerning the hope of the resurrection of the dead.
[The men start to bicker among themselves—Sadducees do not believe in resurrection/angel/spirit, but Pharisees do.]
A Pharisee: We find nothing wrong with this man. What if a spirit or an angel has spoken to him?
[The men become violent.]
Head Soldier: [talking about Paul] Take this man to the barracks! Use force if you must.
That evening the Lord spoke to Paul, saying “Keep up your courage! For just as you have testified for me in Jerusalem, so you must bear witness also in Rome.”
Scene 2
[at a gathering of Jews]
Jew 1: We must kill Paul!
Jew 2: We must! Let us agree to not eat of drink until we complete this task.
Jew 1: Good idea! Let’s go tell the chief priest and the elders.
Scene 3
[Jews stand before the elders]
Jew 1: We have vowed not to eat or drink until we kill Paul.
Jew 2: So, you should have the soldiers bring him here tomorrow.
Elder: But what will we say we need him for?
Jew 1: Say you need to question him more thoroughly.
Elder: Very well. We will do as you ask.
Paul’s sister’s son hears of this plot, and tells Paul. He then tells the head soldier (aka tribune) of the plot, who agrees not to bring Paul to the elders. The tribune then arranges for Paul to be brought to Caesarea, and writes a letter to the governor of Caesarea telling of Paul’s circumstances. Paul is brought to Caesarea and held captive there.
ACTS 25-26
[Paul is brought before King Agrippa to defend himself]
Paul: I belonged to the strictest sect of our religion as a Pharisee! We earnestly worshiped day and night when we could have been at the Club!
King Agrippa: (thinks a moment). Yes, a valid point. The Club is a tight spot…
Paul: Sure, I condemned some people to death, but isn’t that what it’s all about? Plus, is it so hard to believe God raises the dead? I was just hoping we’d be on the same wave-length …
[dead man off to the side nonchalantly revives and exits]
King Agrippa: Entertain me further with your plea, I love being the King!
Paul: So anyway I was traveling to Damascus, and God shined this huge light on me saying hey, stop condemning me, but tell other people about me -- I don’t know, he went on and on but truthfully his voice was a little overpowering and his Hebrew was rough…
[Flashback to Paul underneath a bright light. God’s voice is overly loud]
God: PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUL
PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUL
Paul: Yes?
God: PAUL. YOU ARE CONDEMNING ME MAN WHAT IS YOUR SACRIFICIAL BEEF? YOU HAVE KICKED SWIFT AT MY GOADS.
Paul: I’m sorry? (confused)
God: LISTEN TO MY LOUD OVERPOWERING VOICE, PAUL. GO TO THE GENTILES AND TELL THEM I AM AWESOME. I WILL PROTECT YOU FROM OTHER JEWS.
[back in the court of King Agrippa]
Paul: So basically I did what he said – because he’s fairly intimidating, bright lights – the voice, you know…
King Agrippa: He said that you should say we should serve him because Jesus knew you and the Jews were going to condemn him?
Paul: They’re fairly coordinated with everything…
[scene of Jesus talking on cell-phone speakerphone to God]
Jesus: Where you at!?
God: Chill.
[back in the court of King Agrippa]
King Agrippa: Paul, if you wouldn’t have pleaded to the Emperor you’d be free.
You’re really a pretty nice guy …
Paul: Awesome! Was really worried for a minute that you’d kill me…
King Agrippa: Naaahhhh….Maybe we could hang out at some arena battles sometime – couple your friends, couple of-
Paul: Ehh, not really my thing man – the whole earnest day and night worshipping, ehhh…it just wouldn’t work out…
King Agrippa: Reciting some lines in the Club too then, no doubt?
Paul: (flushed) Come on now…anyone who is anyone is in that Club and I know that you know it.
King Agrippa: [flashback/re-used old line ala cocaine is a helluva drug] Yes, a valid point. The Club is a tight spot….
[cut to a disco ball/bright lights and 20 secs worth of folk music. Scene is not necessary though]
*brief silence/zoom between Paul/King*
King Agrippa: [spins a globe beside him, randomly stops it] Very well then, I shall send you to Rome to do other things.
[everyone exits]
Thank you to Ben Miller for your many hours of film editing, we could not have done this without you!
The Crew:
Lisette Langdorf
Jenna Theisen
Erin Mortenson
Ben Miller
Kellen Zayto
Karen Wilson
Acts 1
Scene 1
-Luke (narrator): In the first Book, Theophilus, I wrote about all that Jesus did and taught from the beginning until the day when he was taken up to Heaven, after giving instructions through the Holy Spirit to the apostles whom he had chosen. After his suffer he presented himself alive to them by many convincing proofs, appearing to them during forty days and speaking about the kingdom of God. While staying with them, he ordered them not to leave Jerusalem, but to wait there for the promise of the father.”
Scene 2
-Jesus: This is what you have heard from me; for John baptized with water, but you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit not may days from now.
-Apostles: Lord, is this the time when you will restore the kingdom of Israel?
-Jesus: It is not for you to know the times or periods that the father has set by his own authority. But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.
(Jesus is lifted by a cloud, out of their sight)
Scene 3 - the apostles walking from Mount Olivet to the city and their room where they were staying. Apostles praying.
Scene 4 – Peter addressed a crowd –
-Peter: Friends, the scripture had to be fulfilled, which the Holy Spirit revealed concerning Judas: he was a narc for those who arrested Jesus – for Judas was a member of our ministry with inside knowledge.
For it’s written in the book of Psalms, ‘Let his homestead become desolate, and let there be no one to live in it, let another take his position of overseer.’
(Shot of Judas acquiring land for being a tattle-tale, then he falls headlong into his field and dies)
-Peter continues: We must choose another to become a witness of Jesus’ resurrection.
Acts 2
Scene 1 (Video of a crowd with the sound of the rush of violent wind, then fire tongues – some sort of force – touches people in the crowd who then start babbling in their native languages)
-One crowd member: Whose this speaking Galieans? How is it that we hear, each of us, in our own native tongues? In our own tongues we hear them speaking about the God’s deeds of power. What’s up with this?
-Another crowd member: They are filled with new wine….
-Peter, standing with the apostles, says: People of MSU and all who live in Bozeman, Listen. These folk are not drunk, for it’s only 9 in the morning. For the prophet Joel told us that God will pour out his spirit upon all flesh, causing chaos, visions, and dreams; the sun will turn dark and the moon to blood. Those who call on the lord will be saved.
(Some sort of chaotic shot here)
-Peter continues: God brought Jesus of Nazareth w/ deeds of power, wonders, and signs God did through him. And you Israelites, you crucified this man, this Jesus, and killed him by the hand of those outside the law. But God raised him up, because it was impossible for him to be held in death’s power.
We are all witnesses of this Jesus God raised up, this Jesus whom you Israelites crucified, and whom God made both Lord and Messiah.
-Crowd: But brothers what should we do?
-Peter: Repent and be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ so your sins may be forgiven and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. Save yourselves from this corrupt generation!!
(The people are baptized, awe overcomes everyone as wonders and signs are done by the apostles)
Act 3
Paul and Peter Walk into the Temple.
-A poor crippled beggar approaches and asks for money.
-Peter says, “I have no silver or gold, but what I have I will give to you; in the name of Jesus you stand up and walk”
-The beggar stands up and does a little dance.
-Paul and Peter invite this happy beggar into the temple with them.
-People notice the beggar skipping into the temple side-by-side with Peter and Paul.
Acts 5
Scene 1 –Ananias and Sapphira
-Ananias: Honey, I’m going to sell some property, but try to keep a small portion of the proceeds, so that we may buy a bit of extra bread.
-Sapphira: Yes dear, you do what you must.
(Ananias takes his proceeds to the apostles)
-Peter: Ananias, why has Satan filled your heart to lie to the Holy Spirit and to keep back some of the profits? How is it that you have contrived this deed in your heart? You did not lie to us but to GOD!!
(Ananias falls down dead; His wife arrives three hours later)
-Peter: Tell me whether you and your husband sold the land for such and such a price.
-Sapphira: Yes, that was the price, such and such.
-Peter: How is it that you have agreed together to put the Spirit of the Lord tot the test? Look, the feet of those who have buried your husband are at the door and they will carry you out too!!
(Immediately Sapphira falls down dead; the men drag her body out)
Scene 2 The Apostles Arrested
(Video of the apostles being led to jail and locked up; In the night and Angel comes and releases them)
-Angel: Go, stand in the temple and continue your teaching.
(Shot of High Priest in courtroom, trial room, office, somewhere)
-H.P.: Bring the apostles before me!
(The Temple Police men returns empty handed)
-Policeman: We found the prison securely locked and the guards standing at the doors, but when we opened them, we found no one inside.
-Jester (someone, nobleman): Look, the men whom you put in prison are in the temple teaching the people!
(The apostles are brought before the High Priest)
-High Priest: We gave you strict orders not to teach in this name, yet you continue to bring this man’s blood on us!
-Peter & the Apostles: We obey God, not humans. We are witnesses to these things, God’s resurrection of Jesus whom you had killed by hanging on a tree, and the Holy Spirit, whom God has given to those who obey him, is a witness too.
(This enrages the High Priest who attempts to kill the apostles but Gamaliel stops him)
-Gamaliel: Fellow Israelites, consider carefully what you propose to do to these men. I tell you, keep away from these men and let them alone; because if this plan or undertaking is of human origin it will fail; but if it is of God, you will not be able to overthrow them, but may be found fighting against God!
(This convinces the High Priest not to kill the apostles, but he still flogs them and they’re sent away)
-Apostles: Think, fellowmen, we are considered worthy to suffer dishonor for the sake of the name Jesus Christ!
(The apostles rejoice and pray)
Acts 7-8
Intro [narrator?]: Stephen gives a speech to some Jews in which he tells the story of Exodus. Stephen condemns the Jews, which angers them.
Scene 1
Stephen: [to Jews] You stiff-necked people! You have failed to live righteously!
[Jews run at Stephen, take him down]
Stephen: Look! I see Jesus! [points towards the sky]
[Jews drag him away, stone him. Saul appears at the stoning, Jews lay their coats at his feet (or some other submissive behavior)]
Stephen: Lord Jesus, receive my spirit! [He dies.]
Saul: Well done, Jews! This man deserved to die.
Scene 2
[at a house of Christians]
Christian 1: Poor Stephen! Such a holy man he was!
Christian 2: How sorrowful! He died a martyr!
Christian 1: No, a saint!
[enter Saul]
Saul: You there! How dare you follow this new religion! Idolaters!
[He grabs them and drags them to prison]
Interlude
Narrator: Philip goes to Samaria to proclaim the coming of the Messiah. The people of Samaria had previously thought a magician named Simon was a holy man, but Philip proves him wrong by performing miraculous deeds and converts everybody, including Simon, to Christianity. Peter and John join him in Samaria to help baptize the new converts.
Scene 3 [involving a convert, Peter, John, and Simon]
[Peter splashes water over convert’s head and lays his hands on it while Simon watches intently]
Simon: I want to do that! [He pulls out a wad of cash] I’ll pay you all of this money if you give me the power to deliver the Holy Spirit through my hands, as you have done.
Peter: Fie on you! You and your money can go die! God’s gift cannot be bought! Repent! Repent! Pray for forgiveness, you wicked, wicked man!
Simon: Oh, woe is me! Please, pray for me so God will not hate me!
Peter: [to John] Our work here is done. Let us return to Jerusalem.
Acts 9
Scene 1
[Saul enters a synagogue to talk to the high priest]
Saul: Good father, can you help my cause? I ask of you letters to bear to the synagogues at Damascus, so I can capture any who have converted to this new devil religion and bring them back to Jerusalem for persecution.
High Priest: This is a good idea. I will help you in your efforts to preserve our most holy faith.
Saul: Thank you, good man! May the God of Abraham and Isaac bless you.
Scene 2
[Saul walks down a deserted path towards Damascus with two companions; suddenly, a light from heaven flashes down on him]
[Saul falls over dramatically]
Jesus: Saul…Saul! Why do you persecute me?
Saul: Who are you, Lord? I say Lord, yet I am confused.
Jesus: I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting. But now you see I exist in all my glory, so go enter the city, and you will receive further directions. Your mission now is to praise me, and praise me you will.
Saul: I’m blind! The glory of Jesus has blinded me! I’M BLIND!!!
[Saul’s companions look on, confused]
Companion 1: Did you see anything?
Companion 2: Not I. He must be one of God’s chosen people!
Companion 1: It’s a miracle!
Saul: Help me! I’m blind!
[Saul’s companions lead him away. Soundtrack: Party to Damascus by Missy Elliott. Musical interlude – play music as Saul is shown being laid on a bed, looking pale and confused – fade to Ananias laying in bed, sleeping]
Scene 3
[Ananias is sleeping]
Jesus: Ananias.
[Ananias looks startled, wakes up]
Ananias: Here I am, Lord.
Jesus: Get out of bed! God to Judas’ house—it’s on Straight street. Do you know where that is?
[Ananias nods, still half asleep]
Jesus: Good. At Judas’ house, you will find a man named Saul. He is currently in shock because I temporarily blinded him while proving my majesty. He will be expecting you to give him his sight back; I showed you to him in a vision.
Ananias: But Lord, I can’t go to him! I have heard how evil he is, and he has permission from the High Priest to persecute people like me!
Jesus: Don’t make me look bad. Do you think yourself to be better than me? Do as I say! I need you to help prove my majesty to Saul. He is my instrument now. I will show him what real suffering is, and all people will bow down before me when they witness Saul’s plight!
Scene 4
[Ananias is standing over Saul in bed. He lays his hands on Saul.]
Ananias: Brother Saul, it is with the power of the Lord Jesus that I give you your sight back.
[Scale-like things fall from Saul’s eyes]
Ananias: Now be baptized.
[He splashes water on Saul’s head]
Saul: [Blinking, looking amazed] Praise Jesus! I feel better already.
Narraror: And Saul went on to proclaim the word of the Lord to all who would listen.
ACT 10
-Cornelius has an angel come to him one night.
-Angel says, “your prayers and your alms have ascended as a memorial before god. Now send men to Joppa for a certain Simon who is called Peter.”
-Cornelius does as the angel demands.
-Peter saw the Gentiles at the door and invited them in.
-The Gentiles told Peter that Cornelius was overcome by a holy spirit and asked to speak with him right away.
-Peter did not waste any time. He packed his clothes and left the very next day.
Acts 21-22 [prologue to 23]
Paul returns to Jerusalem from a crusade. He speaks with the elders there, who warn him that the Jews of Jerusalem hate him with a passion. They suggests he perform some rituals important to the Jews to improve his image. He performs the purification ritual, but the Jews try to kill him anyway. Soldiers come to Paul’s rescue, and Paul takes this opportunity to give a speech to the Jews. He announces he has been a Jew since he was born and tells the story of his encounter with Jesus. This does not impress the Jews, who get more angry with Paul. The soldiers try to beat Paul, but he uses his Roman citizenship to get out of it. The next day, Paul is sent to speak with the chief priests and town council.
Acts 23
Scene 1
[Paul stands before the council, looking at them intently. Soldiers stand next to him.]
Paul: Brothers, up to this day I have lived my life with a clear conscience before God.
High Priest Ananias: [to soldiers] Strike him on the mouth!
Paul: God will strike you, you whitewashed wall! You call me a criminal, but you’re breaking the law!
Soldiers: Do you dare to insult God’s high priest?
Paul: Oh, I didn’t know he was the high priest! Had I known I would not have spoken, for I know the law that says “You shall not speak evil of a leader of your people.”
[Paul’s thought bubble: Aha! Some of these men are Pharisees and some are Sadducees. I will use their conflicting beliefs to my advantage.]
Paul: Brothers, I am a Pharisee. I am on trial concerning the hope of the resurrection of the dead.
[The men start to bicker among themselves—Sadducees do not believe in resurrection/angel/spirit, but Pharisees do.]
A Pharisee: We find nothing wrong with this man. What if a spirit or an angel has spoken to him?
[The men become violent.]
Head Soldier: [talking about Paul] Take this man to the barracks! Use force if you must.
That evening the Lord spoke to Paul, saying “Keep up your courage! For just as you have testified for me in Jerusalem, so you must bear witness also in Rome.”
Scene 2
[at a gathering of Jews]
Jew 1: We must kill Paul!
Jew 2: We must! Let us agree to not eat of drink until we complete this task.
Jew 1: Good idea! Let’s go tell the chief priest and the elders.
Scene 3
[Jews stand before the elders]
Jew 1: We have vowed not to eat or drink until we kill Paul.
Jew 2: So, you should have the soldiers bring him here tomorrow.
Elder: But what will we say we need him for?
Jew 1: Say you need to question him more thoroughly.
Elder: Very well. We will do as you ask.
Paul’s sister’s son hears of this plot, and tells Paul. He then tells the head soldier (aka tribune) of the plot, who agrees not to bring Paul to the elders. The tribune then arranges for Paul to be brought to Caesarea, and writes a letter to the governor of Caesarea telling of Paul’s circumstances. Paul is brought to Caesarea and held captive there.
ACTS 25-26
[Paul is brought before King Agrippa to defend himself]
Paul: I belonged to the strictest sect of our religion as a Pharisee! We earnestly worshiped day and night when we could have been at the Club!
King Agrippa: (thinks a moment). Yes, a valid point. The Club is a tight spot…
Paul: Sure, I condemned some people to death, but isn’t that what it’s all about? Plus, is it so hard to believe God raises the dead? I was just hoping we’d be on the same wave-length …
[dead man off to the side nonchalantly revives and exits]
King Agrippa: Entertain me further with your plea, I love being the King!
Paul: So anyway I was traveling to Damascus, and God shined this huge light on me saying hey, stop condemning me, but tell other people about me -- I don’t know, he went on and on but truthfully his voice was a little overpowering and his Hebrew was rough…
[Flashback to Paul underneath a bright light. God’s voice is overly loud]
God: PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUL
PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUL
Paul: Yes?
God: PAUL. YOU ARE CONDEMNING ME MAN WHAT IS YOUR SACRIFICIAL BEEF? YOU HAVE KICKED SWIFT AT MY GOADS.
Paul: I’m sorry? (confused)
God: LISTEN TO MY LOUD OVERPOWERING VOICE, PAUL. GO TO THE GENTILES AND TELL THEM I AM AWESOME. I WILL PROTECT YOU FROM OTHER JEWS.
[back in the court of King Agrippa]
Paul: So basically I did what he said – because he’s fairly intimidating, bright lights – the voice, you know…
King Agrippa: He said that you should say we should serve him because Jesus knew you and the Jews were going to condemn him?
Paul: They’re fairly coordinated with everything…
[scene of Jesus talking on cell-phone speakerphone to God]
Jesus: Where you at!?
God: Chill.
[back in the court of King Agrippa]
King Agrippa: Paul, if you wouldn’t have pleaded to the Emperor you’d be free.
You’re really a pretty nice guy …
Paul: Awesome! Was really worried for a minute that you’d kill me…
King Agrippa: Naaahhhh….Maybe we could hang out at some arena battles sometime – couple your friends, couple of-
Paul: Ehh, not really my thing man – the whole earnest day and night worshipping, ehhh…it just wouldn’t work out…
King Agrippa: Reciting some lines in the Club too then, no doubt?
Paul: (flushed) Come on now…anyone who is anyone is in that Club and I know that you know it.
King Agrippa: [flashback/re-used old line ala cocaine is a helluva drug] Yes, a valid point. The Club is a tight spot….
[cut to a disco ball/bright lights and 20 secs worth of folk music. Scene is not necessary though]
*brief silence/zoom between Paul/King*
King Agrippa: [spins a globe beside him, randomly stops it] Very well then, I shall send you to Rome to do other things.
[everyone exits]
Thank you to Ben Miller for your many hours of film editing, we could not have done this without you!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
